We put a lot of things on hold during this pandemic, including letting our 16 year-old find his first part-time job. He did chores around the house like mowing the lawn, trimming hedges, and cleaning the garage- all for a decent amount of money. Yet, he was dissatisfied because he had been looking forward to earning a regular “paycheck” from having a regular “job”. So you can only imagine his excitement when his friend’s dad offered to hire him to work at his dine-in restaurant! We didn’t have the heart to say “no” since he had been cautious long enough, and really needed to get out and find some stimulation outside of virtual school to keep his spirits up.
He had a great first day learning the gig of a restaurant greeter- meeting all his coworkers (mostly Spanish-speaking kitchen staff), and a slough of customers from all walks of life (from goatee-sporting motorcycle groups to suited professionals). While he didn’t enjoy standing all day, and the formal outfit made him a bit itchy, his wide, toothy smile at the end of the day broadcast a great sense of accomplishment and pride. It made us so very happy.
His initial excitement has since waned somewhat over the course of four months, but he continues to take pride in his independence, and is continuously learning so much about people, collaboration, working through hick-ups, building patience, being assertive (with indignant clients), keeping track of his hours and paychecks, about accountability and responsibility, all the while forming a variety of friendships.
And for this, I’m thankful for the American experience.
I don’t think it’s even an option for teens in India to work such physical jobs- looked down upon as “menial labor” by even the most educated folks in society. It makes you wonder what would happen to their lives if you took away their maids, and nannies, cooks and drivers. How would they even survive each day on their own? Of what help would their professional degrees be if there was no one to help them cook, clean, drive, and take care of their babies every single day? All work exists because it provides some benefit to society. And yet, there is so little dignity provided to people who work menial jobs.
Perhaps the reasons for this stigma and exploitation of low-skilled workers are anthropological, and sociological- reinforced by the caste system, followed by 150 years of British rule. Being servile is an expected behavior of those not in positions of authority.
And we all know that money speaks far more loudly in so-called “civilized” societies than the teachings of any religion or philosophy. “Treat others the way you want to be treated” still remains an other-worldly concept for many. And there are certainly some in the American diaspora too, who think respect is wasted on the hourly-wage worker.
Maids in India call the little tyrants in their employer’s house “akka” or “anna” “bhayya” or “didi” which means big brother or sister, even if the employees’ kids are only middle or high schoolers, similar in age or even younger than themselves. Getting angry and shouting at the help is considered normal, societal behavior. And the wealthier the family, the more rampant is the verbal aggressiveness.
My son would receive little respect in India were he to greet customers or wait tables at a restaurant. Parents would be considered suspect or he would be pitied for “having to work” such a menial job for a living. These jobs pay next to nothing in India where low-skilled physical labor is abundant. Thus, even if you were an unemployed young person in India, your family would much rather take care of you all your life if they can afford it than let you work the tables or taxis in India. And if you are a high schooler then your only job is to sit your butt down and study for your board exams.
This brings me to the exceptions of those who don’t change their views no matter how far they travel or how many cultures they see. I know an Indian-American family that will not allow their teenage son to mow lawns as a chore or choose a profession that does not involve a ton of college education! After all, those are for the lower strata of society. It begs the question’ “Is human value determined merely by the kind of work you do for a living?”
Perhaps college-educated Indians don’t see any value added to their children’s lives in terms of preparing them for their academic futures or professional careers, but not every internship or job or project has to be about intellectual enhancement. Being able to connect with everyday people and walk in their shoes, is far more valuable as a developing young adult than helping your dad develop a marketing strategy for the latest advancement in technology.
I’m not a huge fan of the current Indian Prime minister, Narendra Modi. But I was impressed that he once was a chaiwala (tea vendor) and India elected him. The potential to become someone great or respectable depends so much on one’s circumstances and innate characteristics. And yet, it’s the not becoming great that keeps the world turning in it’s most essential way. Every time an elderly doorman salutes me at a fancy Indian restaurant or every time a young Indian boy repairs the tires on my bicycle, I remember what an important role they play in the vast scheme of things- making my little flicker of life on this planet a little easier, even pleasurable. They keep the wheel turning for us all. Dignify them with your respect and gratitude. And while this might be my son’s temporary teen gig, there will always be those who will keep the world turning with their lifelong toils to serve the rest of us.